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Reflections on Motherhood
A One-Year Birthday and a Baby on the Way
By Kate Riener Boyd
What John helped me realize last night, after a meltdown caused by the broken bathtub faucet, is that I am more afraid than I have been able to see or admit. I knew I was scared of labor, of postpartum blues, of handling a newborn and a toddler. But these are rational fears I could easily admit to and calm myself through. You get through labor (no other choice, really), you pass through postpartum, and your newborn won't be newborn forever. Somehow, you survive the tough beginning days.
What I'm really afraid of is that I'm going to fail at everything, and ultimately that I'm going to lose myself in the effort to raise more than one child. I have a good pace with my son now because luckily he is a pretty easygoing guy. He sleeps easily and long, and his worst moods occur only when teething, and even then he does nothing worse than whine a little bit.
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