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Home › Articles › Pets › Losing a Pet

Losing a Pet

Tips for Soothing Kids' Grief

By Jennifer Lacey

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The unconditional love expressed between a pet and a young child is a beautiful thing to watch. When a beloved family pet passes away, it is probably the first time that a child will experience the aftermath of death. This can be a time of great sadness for a young child and confusion for many parents, as they may not be sure of the appropriate way to explain where their family companion has gone.

With a little practical advice, and lots of care and concern on your part, you can help your little one learn to conquer their fears and worries.

A Toddler's Behavior
Although infants to children 2 years of age have no concept of death, "when a furry friend is suddenly gone, the young infant may show minimal reaction,"says Lawrence S. Newman, attending in Behavioral Health, and Diana Shellmer, transplant psychologist at the Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, Pa. "By 1 to 2 years of age, the toddler who expects to see Rover on awakening every morning may well display some reaction if Rover is not roaming around as expected."

After the loss of a family pet, parents may begin to notice that their little one is exhibiting regressive behaviors, for example, increasing clinginess toward Mom and Dad, a return to and/or beginning of thumb sucking.

"The toddler who has lost a loved furry friend could show upset reactions like any of us," Newman and Shellmer say. "The child may appear preoccupied, clumsy, spacey, anxious, sad or clingy. Newly acquired skills, such as toilet training, could be temporarily lost. Anxious behaviors like sucking on shirt sleeves or thumbs could also surface."

Although it is normal for young children of this age group to demonstrate these types of behaviors, understanding your children's feelings takes good observation on the part of parents.

"Young children do not often tell us how they feel, though they certainly do show us how they are feeling,"Newman and Shellmer say. "Once parents see behaviors that suggest that the child is upset, they need to think about the possible stressors that have recently impacted the child."

Initiate conversation with your child, but remember to keep the conversation simple, kind and age appropriate. Most important, parents should make every attempt to distinguish death from sleep never tell a child that a pet went to sleep so that your little one will not confuse sleep with death.

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