- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- babies today articles
- babies today q&a
- toddlers today articles
- toddlers today q&a
- breastfeed.com articles
- breastfeed.com q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
When Parents Divorce
Keeping Communication Alive with Your Grandchildren By Lisa Marie Metzler
The effects of divorce on parents and children have been widely discussed and well documented, but family break-ups hurt grandparents, too. Often, however, the heartbreak grandparents experience takes a back seat as they meet the needs of their children and grandchildren.
"Generally grandparents are a safe haven for children, and in the instance of divorce, may be the only adults a child feels he or she can rely on," says Susan Newman, Ph.D., author of Little Things Mean a Lot: Creating Happy Memories with Your Grandchildren (Crown Publishers, 1996).
Newman suggests that, if possible, grandparents should keep the same visiting schedule and activities as before the divorce process started. This stability can really open the lines of communication for grandparents and their grandchildren. Grandchildren may have questions, fears or comments that need to be heard, and a grandparent can be a good, neutral sounding board. "Grandparents will want to listen to what their grandchildren have to say, because listening (even if you don't have answers) tells children you care about them and their concerns," Newman says. "This is especially important when parents may be focused on the tangles of divorce."
"If the grandparents have a negative relationship with the children's mother or father, it will severely impact the relationship they have with their grandchildren," says Elise Edelson Katch, a Denver, Colo.-based licensed clinical social worker and author of The Get: A Spiritual Memoir of Divorce (Health Communications, 2001).