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Discipline Matters
What Is Grandma's Rule?
By Elizabeth Pantley
In my grandma's day, it was understood that children had certain responsibilities as members of the family. They "earned" their privileges by fulfilling their responsibilities first. The idea behind this rule is that you acknowledge something the child would like to do as the second step in a process. You define the first step as a chore, action or activity that must be done before the privilege is granted.
The benefits to this approach are threefold. First, your request is very specific, and thus can be understood by your child. Second, you are acknowledging your child's wants and needs at the same time that you are stating your wants and needs. Third, you are approaching the issue in a way that invites your child to cooperate. Here's how it works:
- You may ________ after you __________.
- You may play outside after you do the dishes.
- You may watch a movie after you do your homework.
- We will read a story after you put your pajamas on.