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Double Trouble

Twins and the Terrible Twos

By Tamar K. Weiss

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Beneficial Bonding
Although it may be difficult to cope when you have two kids going through this stage at the same time, there is also something to be said for the beauty of the relationship between twin siblings at this stage. Competition aside, twins may also stand up for the rights of a sibling scorned, and provide each other with encouragement and incentive to develop and excel.

"The competition (between the twins) sometimes works in our favor," says Ben-Michael. "Like in potty training we have one son who is really interested in the potty and after several successes, the other one, who previously had shown very little interest, is now striving for excellence in this field. They worry about each other like an old married couple. If I hand a Popsicle to one, he holds out his hand (waiting for another one) and brings it to his brother."

According to Folds, twins develop an inner bond during early childhood as a source of strength and security. At such a young age, she says, it is not advisable to break them up into separate activities or environments. In fact, for some parents of twins, it may be easier to keep them together consistently (despite the possibility of synchronized tantrums and mischievous behavior) because they are going through the same stage at the same time, and they will share most of the same likes. "I find myself encouraging joint behavior so that I can be with both at the same time," says Ben-Michael.

Hard as it may sometimes be to withstand, this stage is not permanent. In fact, when the kids are teens, a parent may find him or herself reminiscing about the 2-year-old period when life was easier.

"Enjoy the wonder of twins," says Folds. Instead of wishing for it to end, try embracing this period, understanding that it is a healthy and exciting part of your children's development. For your 2-year-olds, "this is the time for experiences to be those they can see, hear and get their hands on." For them, to understand a concept is to experience it.

So relax, keep perspective and take this stage one experience at a time.

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