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Home › Articles › Multiples › Double Trouble

Double Trouble

Twins and the Terrible Twos

By Tamar K. Weiss

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Tried and True Tactics
There certainly are times, however, when a parent must intervene. When a child is engaged in behavior that may harm himself or others, that child's behavior must be modified. Folds finds "diversionary tactics" work well. "If a child is fixated on a particular overt behavior, distract and divert their attention to something different," she says. The child is likely acting this way because she does not yet have the skills to control her behavior. "The role of the adult is not to get caught up in that emotion, but rather to introduce a new stimulus."

"In the midst of a tantrum, a favorite toy will distract our kids and make them forget the reason for the tantrum in the first place," says Michael Goodwin, father to boy and girl 2-year-olds. Still, two children throwing tantrums at the same time can be overwhelming. Maintaining a sense of humor is key, he says. "It's kind of funny to see both of them throw a fit and yell in stereo."

Ben-Michael and her husband once made the mistake of taking their tired boys to a hotel dining room for a nice meal. Needless to say, the meal did not go as she had planned, but when the boys were practically hanging from the chandeliers, pulling off tablecloths and screaming simultaneously, "our first reaction was to burst out laughing," she says. "Something my experiences have taught me is tune in to your kids and have realistic expectations for them."

twins Set Some Rules
"Parents of twins must set up house rules that they reinforce by modeling the appropriate behaviors," says Folds. "That means the parents must remain calm and have a sense of humor however we handle the beginning years will be reflected in the teenage years." Of equal importance, parents should "be consistent, be guiding, be fair," says Folds. These children are going through a period where stress should be placed on schedules, clearly defined expectations and letting children know what comes next. This way, says Folds, "children will learn to pace themselves."

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