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Getting to "I Did It!"
Encouraging Toddlers to Be Independent By Shannon McKelden
Linda Gerber, a mother of four living in Toyko, gave her kids small portions of tasks, such as putting on a shirt, until eventually they could do the whole thing themselves. "I'd play peek-a-boo through the neck hole before slipping it over their head," says Gerber, who would sing-song the steps aloud. "Where's Haley's hand? There it is! Through the sleeve. I see it!"
Gerber encouraged her children to take control bit by bit letting them push their hands through the sleeves instead of pulling them through herself, etc. "Eventually the task became [theirs] instead of mine," she says.
What tasks toddlers are ready for depends on the child. "Whenever I found something [my daughter] was interested in doing and could safely do, even if she had to be supervised, I let her do it," Cavanaugh says. "She was allowed to get her cereal and pour it into the bowl and get her own spoon. She could fold her own clothes and help put them away in the correct drawers, which we would do together."
Jennifer Waldburger, a licensed social worker and co-founder of Sleepy Planet, believes in offering lots of choices throughout the day. This allows toddlers to practice independence and express their own opinions. "Always offer two choices that work for you," Waldburger says.
For example: "It's time to get in the car now do you want to put your coat on by yourself, or do you want me to help you?" (Don't ask "Do you want to get in the car?" This allows them to say no.) At bedtime: "Do you want to wear the green pajamas or the blue ones?" If your toddler is preverbal, he can point to hi choice.