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Home › Articles › Holiday: Winter › Harried Holidays

Harried Holidays

Making It Through the Season With Multiples

By Jenn Director Knudsen

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(Three Rivers Press, 2002).

"Kids need to be treated as individuals, not as equals," she says. "This is particularly important when it comes to multiples ... When buying gifts for the holidays, I encourage parents of multiples to buy gifts that focus on each child's individual interests, rather than buying the same gift to avoid bickering."

"You don't want to have two of the exact same toy, so you buy items that are slightly different," says Sullivan. She suggests items such as a police car and a fire truck or the board games Candyland and Hi Ho Cheerio.

Hill says one year she made each of her girls their own quilt indicative of their individual personalities. "[Lauren's] personality is so sparkly," says Hill, so she got stars on her yellow quilt. Kate, however, whose middle name is Rose and so identifies with flowers, got lilacs on hers.

Guiding Gifts From Friends and Family
But even though you may make the effort to avoid duplicate gifts, aunts, uncles and grandparents may not do the same. "People are always going to buy them matching-matching," Hill says.

There's nothing wrong with gently guiding friends and family toward gifts appropriate for multiples. "We try to counsel people on what to buy for the boys – give them ideas, stress the individual interests of each twin," says Ty DeMartino, 34, of Frostburg, Md., the father of twin boys. Some people, however, always insist on buying two (or more) of the same thing. When that happens, he and his wife, Mary Beth, donate one of the identical gifts to a local charity.

And there are always the well-meaning friends or relatives who purchase only a single gift for two, three or more children the same age, Laut says, a situation that compels him to nicely remind people his kids are not one unit. "Never forget: They are individuals; they just happen to have the same birthdays," he says. "Don't say, 'This is for the triplets.'"

Yet by the same token, it's important to think about yourself when advising friends. For example, you don't want each child to receive his own 300-piece block set. The same goes for three of the noisiest instruments money can buy. "They have to live with these children," Laut says. "Don't buy them three trumpets!"

Whatever gifts they do receive, kids are kids and will always want what the others have. Fortunately, with multiples, they often are more accustomed to sharing than their singleton friends.

The bottom line in making it through the holidays with multiples, these parents say, is to be organized.

"The key to surviving multiples, whether it be the holidays or any other time of the year, is try to be organized and anticipate their needs," says Mary Beth DeMartino, 32, such as ensuring the kids get their naps, snacks and other necessities on time.

And if all else fails, keep your eye on the prize – the day after Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever holiday you celebrate.


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