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Home › Articles › Holiday: Winter › 'Twas the Night for Assembling

'Twas the Night for Assembling

Directions and Other Joys of the Season

By Kellie Head

Pages:  1  2  

At this point he snapped, his thinking unclear
He'll do something stupid; this was my big fear.

He grabbed each toy's instructions, oh why won't he learn,
Tossed them into the fire, chanting "burn, baby, burn."

"Burn Disney, burn Huffy, to blazes with you
Burn Fisher Price, Playskool and Hasbro, too."

As smoke filled the room, this was his first clue
That in his haste, he had neglected the flue.

To the top of the mantle, to the top of the wall
A black cloud developed and ash settled on all.

Soot landed on stockings and covered the tree
And gave a look of charcoal to all we could see.

The firemen came, dressed in yellow, like sun
Seems the neighbors saw smoke and dialed 9-1-1.

Out came the axe, out came the hoses
Out came a Dalmatian who trampled my roses.

"There's no trouble here," I swore up and down
Realizing this faux pas would soon be 'round town.

"My husband's a good man," I tried to explain
"The instructions weren't clear. It drove him insane."

The fire chief nodded and gathered his crew
Hopped onto their truck and away they all flew.

But I heard them converse as they drove out of sight
"Her husband's the third jerk who's done that tonight!"


Pages:  1  2  

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