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Home › Articles › Holiday: Winter › Holidays After Divorce

Holidays After Divorce

Keeping the Children First

By E.R. Reid

Pages:  1  2  3  

Keep It Simple
Divorce is traumatic enough for children without adding unnecessary complexity to their schedule. Decide early on who will take the children on which holiday, and avoid splitting the day (one of you has them in the morning and one in the evening). Splitting the day is disruptive to everyone's celebration because the anticipation of knowing you have to go somewhere else makes it hard to enjoy the few hours you do have together.

It's highly recommended that if you have two or more children you don't split them up. Whether they express it or not, children support and comfort each other. Splitting them decreases their sense of security and connection.

A phone call in the morning to say hello and wish them a great day is a must to help them feel OK about being away from you for that special day. But don't lay guilt on the children by telling them how much you wish they could be with you instead. Just wish them a great time and tell them you look forward to seeing them when they return again.

Most important is that both parents send a consistent message to the children that the holidays are still a special and great time of year even though both parents won't be sharing it together.


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