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Do Time-Outs Work for Toddlers?
Two Moms and an Expert Sound Off By Donna Smith
Nixon notes that the toddler years are some of the most crucial years of early development. "Curiosity and experimentation are instinctive," she says. "Toddlers are hard-wired to meddle, taste, break and otherwise interact with their environment; yet, esoteric concepts of right and wrong are beyond their grasp. It is when children are toddling that you plant seeds of redirection. Then, when the children are older these seeds will sprout into an understanding of right and wrong, and only then does time-out bear results of changing behavior.
"At every stage in life, it is always about redirection. Time-out is redirection with some quiet time of reflection. 'Grounding' is redirection with a few 'chores' to allow time for the child to reconsider their behavior. It is not that time-out does not work, it's that different stages of life require different forms of redirection, and for toddlers redirection should be more literal. Instead of taking the crayons away and isolating them, show them what they CAN do with the crayons."
"During the toddler years, time-out when used selectively and properly can be an effective, positive parenting tool," says child behavior expert Elizabeth Pantley, author of Hidden Messages: What Out Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children