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Home › Articles › Family › Tears for Fido

Tears for Fido

Dealing With the Loss of a Pet

By Teri Brown

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Dealing with the death of a pet is challenging enough, but dealing with a pet that has disappeared is a whole different ball game because of the uncertainty factor. Carmack believes that most parents are at a loss as to how to reassure their child. Taking steps to find the pet can be a first step in calming their child.

"Remember that children pick up on non-verbal behavior of parents," says Carmack. "Any time parents can feel more in control by taking intentional steps to help find the missing pet, children may, in turn, also feel more in control and secure."

Carmack suggests that parents have their children help in making and putting up flyers so they feel they're contributing to finding the lost animal. Walking around the neighborhood calling the name of the animal or driving around with parents can also be helpful.

Healing Through Reading
Arthur loves his dog, Daisy. But Daisy is old, and sometimes when they play in the park, Daisy can't keep up with Arthur. One night, Daisy goes to sleep and when she wakes up, she's in heaven. Emma Chichester Clark gently tells the story of a boy letting go of his dog in Up in Heaven (Doubleday Books, 2004).

"A young mother recently shared with me how she was told as a child that when cats get sick, they often go off to die," says Carmack. "She explained that hearing this helped her better understand such behavior as part of the natural order of life, making it easier to accept if her cat never returned."

Performing a simple ritual during this time of uncertainty may also help your child cope. For example, one could light a special candle every morning and evening, wishing the missing pet well and sending wishes that he will be safe under whatever circumstances he finds himself.

"Depending on one's spiritual beliefs, one can also offer a prayer that the pet be safe and find her way back home, asking that the pet remember how much she is loved," says Carmack. "One can pray that God will look after pets and if they're sick, that they die in a peaceful way."

"For many children this is the first major loss and death they will have experienced," says Carmack. "To have their feelings and loss honored and supported sends a powerful message about the legitimacy of not only their feelings, but also the importance and significance of this important relationship."

4 Tips to Help Your Child Grieve and Remember
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