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Goodbye, Daddyfish
Lessons Toddlers and Preschoolers Can Learn from the Death of a Pet
By Mark Stackpole
We begin at an ending.
Over the weekend, the Stackpole family bid farewell to one of our own. We took care of "Daddyfish" for well over two years, amazed at the size to which he grew and amused by his rather frenetic swimming. Named for the fact that I was the "Daddy" who brought home a "fish," Corinne fed him, talked with him and would have hugged him should such a thing have been possible.
"Can I touch him?" she would ask. "No, it's not good for him," came the constant reply. She didn't understand, but she respected him enough to not push the issue. Ultimately, being behind glass in a house with three young children, he might have been the safest one in the room. Ironic given his seemingly high levels of anxiety.
Friday night I noticed his lethargy. No spastic jumps. No eager swimming toward that night's feast of fish flakes. His gills seemed to be working too hard, as if he had just swum a marathon. As I fed him for the last time, I gave the glass a gentle tap. Though I did not expect him to die immediately, I knew that the end was in sight. And it made me sad.
The next morning, I awoke to Char, my wife, calling me from downstairs about a "fish situation." Oh no, I thought. If I had known, I would have spent a few extra minutes with you, old friend. Daddyfish was gone.
Is now the time to mention that "Daddyfish" was actually "Daddyfish II," a replacement for our first Daddyfish who died rather prematurely? At the time, Corinne was 2 years old, so the sleight of hand required for a fish-switch was pretty easy. Two years later, there wasn't much we could do except talk to her about death. It was just a goldfish – how hard could it be?
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Re: Goodbye, Daddyfish by barb on 11/11/2008 03:20PM
What an absolute darling article. The author tells his story so well, then loved getting even more advice from an actual childhood expert. We buried our dog a few months ago, and the kids were devastated. So sad if they have to learn this lesson so early, but a reality.
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Lessons Children Can Learn from the Death of a Pet by Shelley on 09/02/2009 11:46AM
We had our dog put down, and it was much harder than we imaged. Our little ones were crushed, but it opened up some really good topics of conversation.