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Tough Toddlers
What to Do if Your Baby is a Bully By Kelly Burgess
"A parent needs to remain calm, at least on the outside, in order to deliver logical consequences and teach the child how to express his anger or frustration constructively," says Dr. Medhus. She suggests that when the child acts up, the parent should remove him from the scene of the crime so he doesn't do any more damage. If he's completely out of control, take him home, but, if possible, bring him over to sit beside you and guide his internal dialogue questions, such as:
- What's our rule about biting?
- Why do we have that rule?
- How did you feel when Bobby bit you last year?
- How do you think Johnny feels now?
- What could you have done instead?
- What do you need to do now to make things right?
"Questions like these help children develop strong internal dialogue and empathy, skills many aggressive children don't have," says Dr. Medhus. "Kids must learn to control their impulses. Perhaps it's more difficult for those with impulsive disorders, but it's still possible. We all must overcome various weaknesses, kids included."
Dr. Medhus also suggests a four-step approach for teaching children to express anger constructively: