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Home › Articles › Discipline › Perfect Parenting Keys

Perfect Parenting Keys

An Excerpt from Perfect Parenting

By Elizabeth Pantley

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Key #2: Tell, don't ask.
One popular mistake parents make is asking instead of telling. The way you phrase your words determines whether your children see your request as optional or required. Banish all wishy-washy phrases from your vocabulary.

When you want your child to do something (or stop doing something) make a clear, specific statement that leaves no room for confusion.

Take a look at the difference between these two types of requests:

Optional: It would be nice if somebody cleaned up this family room.

Required: Steven, please put all the toys back in the playroom. Kyle, please gather the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

Optional: Kids, it's getting late, don't you think it's time to get ready for bed?

Required: It's eight o'clock. Time to shut off the TV and put on your pajamas.

Optional: I sure wish you'd get down from there.

Required: That's not a place to climb. Please get down.

Optional: Gather up your stuff now, okay?

Required: Please get your backpack, jacket and shoes, and get in the car.

Key #3: When you say it, mean it. The first time.
Some parents are in the habit of repeating a request over and over and over (and over!) before taking any action to see that a child complies with the request. Do you know anyone like this? (Perhaps intimately?)


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