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Corners and Swats or Praise and Pardons?
Discipline for Young Children By Carma Haley Shoemaker
The reward system is yet another method recommended for young children. Naomi Drew states that the reward system is based on positive feedback and can help build a child's self-esteem as well as teach self-control. "Catch your children in the act of doing things right and offer sincere and deserved praise or reward immediately," she says. "When we praise the positive things they do, we hold up a mirror to their best selves and help them see the behaviors we want them to replicate. Kids want to recapture the positive feelings they have when we recognize their good behaviors, so they tend to repeat the things that were the sources of praise."
Dr. Thomas Gordon, author of Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.), states that when the reward system is used, children may simply imitate what they know will get them what they want or need. "When parents give rewards -- paying money, giving candy, making promises to go places -- to stop or encourage certain behaviors in their child, the child works for the rewards instead of being motivated from within," he says. "This in no way builds self-esteem or self-control. It only contributes to the child wanting the reward and doing what they have to do to get it."
The Diversion Tactic
According to Speaks-Folds, the simplest form of discipline for children younger than 3 years is the 2D system: "distract and divert." "We suggest that parents use a redirection policy with young children of this age," says Speaks-Folds.
"This age child is not acting with a pre-designed purpose; they are being their age. Our job is to direct that response and reacton to appropriate conclusions. If a child is getting into mischief, it is best to just redirect to another area of activity, which lets them know that what they are doing is not acceptable. An adult does not have to heighten their voice, or appear angry; merely redirect the child's interest."