728x90
my iParenting
From Our Sponsors
e-newsletters
Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters

new terms of use
new privacy policy
award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.

Toddler Tornadoes

Making a Mess or Exploring and Learning?

By Dawn Colclasure

Pages:  1  2  3  

Books lie scattered across the floor. A variety of toys linger in different parts of the room, and chairs that once sat around a table now lie on the floor in a makeshift construction of a playground. No, this is not the work of a tornado. These messes are the compliments of my 2-year-old daughter who peeks out from under a chair with a grin.

Despite her cheerfulness in the wake of this disaster, I can only prepare for the task of cleaning up the room. A frown comes to my face as I settle my gaze upon my toddler, whose favorite pastime seems to be creating one mess right after another.

Born to Be Wild?
If you're wondering if the mess will ever end, a good piece of advice is to "relax," says Paula Spencer, mother of four children and author of several parenting books, including Parenting Guide to Positive Discipline (Ballantine Books, 2001) and Parenting Guide to Your Toddler (Ballantine, 2000). Spencer is well acquainted with the tendency of toddlers to create messes.

"The most important thing to understand about typical toddler 'messes' is that, developmentally, they are perfectly normal, expected behavior," says Spencer. "Toddlers get into things because they are curious. They're working to learn what things are, how they work and what happens when they are dumped or dropped or tossed or scattered. They also have a short attention span, so they flit from thing to thing. And they definitely are too young to have an adult sense of neatness."

In fact, Spencer points out, this "adult sense of neatness" is commonly (and unfairly) expected from a toddler. "That's developmentally impossible," she says.

Amy Halloran, of Troy, N.Y., has learned to drop this expectation. "I think my 16-month-old sees it as his job to take all the books off a shelf, all the toys out of the basket or all the anything out of the thing I leave in reach," says Halloran. "I have pretty low standards for housekeeping, so I let him have his way until my way is blocked, and then I clean up and start the cycle again."

Besides being curious, there is one other reason why toddlers may cause messes throughout the day: boredom. "Boredom might be a factor for older toddlers," Spencer says. "Do they have enough toys, books and outside playtime to keep them occupied?"

Still, parents of toddlers must keep in mind that causing little (or even big) messes here and there is just part and parcel of the world of toddlerhood. "A toddler has no concept of neatness, so they don't have a concept of messiness," Spencer says. "This is a stage, and by around ages 3 to 4 the intense random messes will ease up as your child's attention span increases and he develops new interests and better self control." She adds that "with 1-year-olds, it's just part of the territory."

Coping With the Mess
Pages:  1  2  3  


Want to see more?