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The Sippy Cup Is Half Full
Tips for Raising an
Optimistic Child By Mark Stackpole
Optimistic Child
The glass is half full. Always look on the bright side. Turn that frown upside down. The cloud has a silver lining. Things aren't as bad as they look. It's all going to work out for the best. We have many aphorisms for optimism, ranging from cute to acutely na.
Indeed, one person's "denial" is another person's "hope," but where does that line get drawn, and perhaps more important, who gets to draw it? Children will one day outgrow their nat窠but that doesn't mean that they have to lose their innately positive way of looking at the world. How can we teach our toddlers to accentuate the positive, even if they can't necessarily eliminate the negative?
"In terms of toddlers, their natural inclination is toward being (often wildly) optimistic," says Bob Murray, co-author of Raising an Optimistic Child (McGraw-Hill, 2005). "They often believe that severed limbs can grow back, or that a thoroughly bad person can become good overnight. As they grow older, kids normally become more balanced in their view. However, realistic optimism is the natural predisposition of all humans. Optimism doesn't need to be taught; it only needs to be nurtured. Pessimism, however, since it is unnatural to children, is learned through negative experience."
These pessimistic messages can come from anywhere in a child's environment, but there are several common sources. According to Murray, these sources can include the following:
- Parental fighting or divorce
- Unclear or constantly changing demands
- Physical punishment, or the threat of it
- Criticism, particularly when couched in general terms such as "You never..." or "You always..."
- Abandonment, either permanent or temporary