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Stop That Whining!

An Expert Shares Tips and Advice

By Elizabeth Pantley

: Put a jar on the kitchen counter. Put ten nickels in it. Tell your child that every time she whines or fusses you will take a nickel out of the jar. Any nickels left over at bedtime will be hers to keep as a reward for remembering to use her "big girl voice."

: Often children aren't really aware they are whining. Have a discussion about whining and demonstrate what it sounds like. (Put on a good show!) Tell your child you want to help her remember not to whine, so every time she does you are going to put your fingers in your ears and say "Yuck!" and make a funny face. That will be her signal to find her regular voice.

: Tell your child that you're going to set the timer for three minutes. She can fuss for three minutes and then she must stop. Some children will complain, "That's not enough time!" Then ask, "How much is enough, four or five minutes?" Typically, of course, five will be chosen. Make a big production of setting the timer for five minutes, and announce that she must stop when the timer rings. Most kids will stop before the timer rings -- some may even ask your permission to stop! If your persistent whiner doesn't stop after five minutes, you can put her in time-out, or put yourself in time-out, until the fussing ends.