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Home › Articles › Development › Stage Fright in Children

Stage Fright in Children

When Your Little Star Doesn't Want to Shine

By Alex Powell

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Sitting This One Out
If your child does refuse to go on, you should stay calm, understand it is either frustration, fear or stress causing the problem, then allow the child to sit out, says Buffington. "I know that's hard to do, when you've paid a lot of money for a costume or gone to a great deal of trouble or have family members who have come in from out of town to see your child perform," says Buffington. "But sometimes, that's really what you need to do."

Realize you still have plenty of years to see your little star shine. Plays and pageants will be easier – and more developmentally appropriate – as your child grows. "[Performing] can wait until the child is in elementary school and has the ability to understand what it is he's doing and why he's doing it," says Buffington.

Sheila C.'s son was 5 years old and her daughter was 3 when they were asked to be in her cousin's wedding. "My son was the ring bearer but refused to go down the aisle," she says. Her daughter didn't want to go down the aisle without her big brother and ended up walking hand in hand with the maid-of-honor.

Only two years later, another cousin got married and Sheila C.'s children were again asked to participate in the ceremony. Both did wonderfully. "My daughter got a little frightened at the end, [but] I told her that if she would just walk down the aisle and drop the petals, she could come and sit with me," she says. As soon as the wedding party got to the front of the church, they began a prayer and Sheila C. stood up and beckoned to her daughter. "She [was able to run] back to me and most people didn't even notice," she says. "She was very proud of herself, and I was proud of her."


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