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Separation Anxiety
When Your Child's Afraid to Leave Your Side
By Elizabeth Pantley, author of Perfect Parenting, and Kid Cooperation
Situation:
Think about it: It's a big world out there. Some kids jump right in, and some need to test the water with their toes before they're comfortable wading in. (And then they wade very slowly, of course!) Be patient. With some gentle guidance your child will leave your side. (I mean, honestly, have you ever seen a ten-year-old super-glued to his mother's side? Me neither.)
Don't push: Don't force your child to jump into situations he's nervous about. Allow him to watch from the sidelines for a while to absorb the goings-on and get a feel for how he'll fit into the picture. Let him know he can sit and watch for as long as he wants to before joining in. Many children relax when they know they have permission to take their time getting involved.
Small steps: Provide opportunities for your child to take small steps towards independence. For example, take your child to a familiar park and once he's involved in an activity move a short distance away, sit on a bench and read a book. Every once in a while, touch base with him by waving or making a comment, "Wow! You're sure going high."
Don't make it worse: Don't overprotect your child. Saying things like, "Don't worry, I'll be right here if you need me" imply that your child really does have something to worry about. Instead, make your comments positive in nature and get the message across that what he's about to do is no big deal. For example, when he's leaving your side to attend a birthday party, let him leave on a positive note, "Have fun honey! See you in a little while."
Help him understand himself: