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Natural Learning Rhythms
A New Parenting Philosophy
By Jenn Director Knudsen
.) Wall Mansfield, her husband, Todd Mansfield, 38, and their son, Connor, have attended Luvmour's retreats, and Luvmour has helped them more effectively deal with their BodyBeing son, she says. For instance, since giving NLR a shot, Connor rarely throws tantrums anymore. "I think it is because we allow the anger, and [we] stay there with him through it so it doesn't escalate into a full-blown tantrum," she says, offering the following dialogue they've used in a specific situation:
Connor now "has started to say things like, 'Mommy, Daddy doesn't want to play baseball right now and that makes me really angry,'" Wall Mansfield says. "I say, 'I would be angry too if I really wanted to play. But right now Daddy doesn't want to play, and we need to respect that. Although, it is OK for you to be mad, and I will stay right here with you while you are angry.'"
Of course, life often gets more complicated with older children and in families with a more complex structure. The Hackett family has found working with Luvmour has made their once-dysfunctional family a more harmonious one. Neala Hackett, 41, and her husband, Shane, 42, of Parkville, Mo., have five children in their blended family. Two children are from Shane's first marriage; a third is from Neala's first marriage; a fourth is Neala and Shane's own child; and a fifth is adopted from China. "Our focus is on the health of each and every individual within our core family, as well as the health of our interconnectedness," says Hackett, director of investor relations for a publicly traded company.
Hackett and her husband couldn't reach their eldest, 16-year-old Christian, who in his years-long anger had retreated into his music and sports and away from his other family members. In a one-on-one setting and over time, Luvmour helped the family understand Christian's developmental stage (IdealBeing and thus his "needed nourishments" to improve Christian's daily life and that of the family, Hackett says. "We are still learning to use Ba's technique of 'inquiry without judgment' to get to know him better and to help him begin to know himself," Hacket says.