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Boosting Self-Esteem

Raising Children Who Feel
Good about Themselves

By Laura Cone

Pages:  1  2  3  4  

Don't give in to the temptation to rush and help your toddler when he is struggling to do something. Instead, put items he needs on shelves within his reach, and rearrange his room as needed. "You can set up a physical space or environment, like their rooms or childcare setting, so there are more things they can successfully do on their own without your help," says Dr. Sparrow.

It's also a good idea to put words to your toddler's frustration, according to Dr. Sparrow. For example, if your toddler feels upset he cannot reach his toy, you could say, "You want to reach that really badly. It's a little bit taller than you can reach. Would you like some help?"

Don't Go Overboard on Praise
When you're trying to boost your toddler's self-esteem, you may also think you can never give too much praise. But experts say it's best to be responsive without undermining your toddler's chance to have a feeling of success and gratification independent of what you or another person thinks.

"Parents who have young children now celebrate everything," Dr. Sparrow says. "I think that interferes with the development of self-esteem, which is the capacity to regulate one's own positive regard for one's self."

Instead of saying, "I'm proud of you," Dr. Sparrow suggests saying, "You must feel really proud of yourself." Although the two sound similar, the second phrase communicates to your toddler that it's about him and how he feels. Also, don't manipulate your child by constantly praising him for doing what you want him to do.

Dr. Sparrow says it's important to be emotionally available and responsive and let your toddler take the lead once in a while, whether he wants to tickle you or tell a story, without having your own agenda. "That's when they feel they have some power and impact on their world and on these big people who are so much more powerful and so much more competent," he says.


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