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When It's Time for Consequences
Gentle Discipline Tips for Babies and Toddlers
By Shannon McKelden
While teaching our kids the consequences of doing something dangerous is important, and discouraging them socially unacceptable behavior may be desirable, there are times when just giving them a little direction is best.
"I would encourage parents to take a few moments to think about whether what their child is doing is a serious enough infraction for consequences, or not," Dr. Bentz says. "It's better to find out what they enjoy doing, what they're willing to initiate for themselves, and do your best to provide an environment where his is safe and reasonable. For example, my daughter at 2 and 3 loved to cut with her little plastic scissors. I gave her old magazines." Though messy, being allowed to cut magazines kept her daughter from cutting other things. "Rather than punishing her, I began to find more activities where she could work with her hands, as that's what she enjoyed most, and she cooperated with me because I knew what she liked and made sure she got it whenever I could."
More serious infractions definitely need consequences, though. When Mary Castillo's son began hitting, she and her husband attached consequences to his actions. "I would take my then 9-month-old infant and sit him on a time-out blanket that was solely used for that purpose," says the Newport Beach, Calif., resident. "I didn't want him to confuse his play pen or crib as places where he'd be punished. When he was 18 months old, I started sitting him in the naughty chair for a minute and then when he turned 2, for two minutes."