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Home › Articles › Special Needs Kids › It's Not Your Fault

It's Not Your Fault

How Parents Can Cope with Their Child's Disability

By Mindy Hudon, M.S., CCC-SLP

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Before you sit down to discuss the results of the evaluation, write down questions that you may have. Writing down questions before the meeting will help you stay focused so you get the answers you need. Also, don't be afraid to ask questions during the meeting. Sometimes professionals can talk in a language that is unfamiliar to you. Ask them to explain anything you don't understand.

Allow yourself time to absorb the information: It can be very overwhelming when the results of evaluations are presented to you. "Parents are on overload to begin with," Smith says. "They have heard 45 to 60 minutes of testing results. They're getting all these reports with statistical data that they don't necessarily understand. Therefore, take the time to absorb the information. Ask the professionals for copies of the reports and any other information they can provide you to gain better insight into the disability. Take time at home to review the information and to talk about it with family and/or your pediatrician.

Start the Loving
As parents, it's hard to avoid blaming ourselves when our child gets hurt. Our hugs and kisses usually help heal a scraped knee or sad feeling, but it is harder to love away a disability. Your child is the same person today as he was before you learned of the disability. Instead of desperately trying to figure out the mystery of what went wrong, put your energy toward understanding and acceptance. In this case, guilt and blame are wasted emotions. Try not to get caught up in solving the mystery, but investigate how to better love and support your child as he grows.

Reading Materials

For more information on dealing with your child's disability, read Special Children, Challenged Parents: The Struggles and Rewards of Raising a Child with a Disability by Robert A. Naseef (Paul H. Brookes Pub. Co., 2001) and After the Tears: Parents Talk About Raising a Child with a Disability by Robin Simons (Harvest Books, 1987).


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