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Painful Partings
Helping Toddlers and Parents Cope with Separation Anxiety
By Katherine Bontrager
Among Chessman's advice is to get your child accustomed to a regular sitter or caregiver from an early age. As well, don't hover when your child is playing with other children – this learned independence will serve everyone well. "The child needs to learn to make mistakes and develop enough independence that he or she doesn't need the parent to do everything," she says.
Chessman's own son has experienced this angst in what she calls a "recurring theme" typically brought on by major life changes. "Mostly I try to handle it in the way I would like other parents to handle it," she says. "I give him a big hug and say, 'I can't wait to see you when I come home! You'll have to tell me lots of stories of the exciting things you did while I was away, and I'll tell you exciting stories of what I did. See you soon!' And then I leave, even if he starts crying. If he's clinging to me, I ask the teacher or caregiver to help me out, and sometimes I wave to him through the window as I leave."
