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Table Manners and Toddlers
Are Toddlers Old Enough to Learn Table Manners?
By Shannon McKelden
No matter how quickly your toddler picks up these new table manners, there are going to be times when she won't cooperate.
"Avoid using negative comments to teach a child," Hausmann says. "Constantly saying 'don't' when talking to a young child may reinforce negative behavior through attention rather than demonstrating what is acceptable." Instead, parents should give their child praise when he practices good etiquette. "Positive reinforcement is far more effective than negative," she says.
Drew agrees. "Notice every right thing he does, and compliment by describing what you saw: 'Good, you're using your spoon!'" she says.
Drew believes consequences create negative feelings. "If something happens in the extreme, however, like purposely throwing a plate of food on the floor, say, 'No, not OK to do this,' in a firm non-yelling voice. If he continues, take the plate away and say, 'Food is not for throwing.'" If necessary, remove him from the table. "That's about it as far as consequences go for table manners at this age," she says.
Dihel handled the problem with throwing food by helping her daughter be responsible for her actions. "When my daughter does throw food mid-way through a meal, we tell her no and that she'll pick it up after dinner," Dihel says. "It would be much faster if we picked it up ourselves, but she rarely tosses anything now and she knows she'll have to do the work to clean it up when finished."
The important thing to remember is not to turn it into a power struggle. "Your toddler will respond to your approving glances and kind words more readily than anything else," Drew says. "Keep meal times happy and filled with love. Then teaching table manners will become part of the natural flow of your lives together."
