Been There, Done That, Learned My Lesson

Funny Potty Training Stories from the Trenches

By Kelly Burgess

Andrew Sprung of South Orange, N.J., wrote this little ditty when his 2-year-old son was potty training:

Our youngest son has perfected
His timing with his potty:
The minute he's tucked into bed
He has to you-know-whattee.

He keeps a pile of books
Beside his plastic throne,
And cover-to-cover he pores them all over
As long as we leave him alone.

One night we forgot he was there
(He never tells us he's done).
We all went to bed and he sat there and "read"
Until a quarter to one.

Maybe if Sprung had it to do all over again, he would double-check to be sure his son was back in bed before leaving him to read the night away. But, unlike some of us who may have wallowed in guilt, Sprung reacted with humor and creativity. Similarly, all of the parents in this article, veterans of that dreaded childhood rite of passage – toilet training – learned from their mistakes and lived to share their funniest stories. Parents still in the trenches will learn a few tips and techniques and, hopefully, will realize that other parents have "been there, done that" and have emerged from the bathroom with a victorious smile.

Judy Gruen, author of The Woman's Daily Irony Supplement (Creative Minds Press, 2007), is a mom of four who remembers being so laid back about potty training that she thought her first born son was going to have to go straight from extra-large diapers to Depends. If she had to do it all over again, she says she would have tried bribery. "One friend [of mine] used the lure of chocolate chips as a reward for making in the potty," she says. "I do wish I had tried that gambit; it might have saved a good six months or so of diaper duty."

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