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A Homespun Christmas
Homemade Wreaths and Other Parental Nightmares
By Lisa Smartt
My plan was simple, or so I thought. Back to the basics, right? I decided to start with the homemade wrapping paper. I was told my children would love stamping the brown Kraft paper with potato halves and apple halves dipped in paint. Oh, they loved it alright. They kept stamping and stamping and stamping. Then, when I turned my head, they finger painted all over it until the Kraft paper was sticking to the old sheet, which was sticking to the dining room table. When all was said and done, it didn't exactly look like the wrapping paper Laura Ingalls Wilder used to wrap the pocket knife for Pa. It looked more like abstract art. Even after it dried, it was so stiff, it couldn't be folded. We should have framed it. Instead, I discreetly threw it away after the boys went to bed. What's that? Yes, I know what you critical parents are thinking out there. I can read your minds: 1. "If she'd supervised them more carefully, it could have been a lovely project." 2. "She threw away her children's artwork? How could she?" You'll just have to trust me on this one.
Enter glue gun, stage left. It was time for the wreath projects. My kids were supposed to be "active participants." They were to sort pinecones and cranberries and cut the ribbon appropriately. The magazine made it very clear that the children were not to use the glue gun and that an adult should be supervising at all times. When I read those words, it was as though a wise little birdie was whispering in my ear, "Turn back, Brave Warrior. Turn back." But I didn't listen. I was in a caffeine-induced state of denial. My boys ate too many cranberries. I stuck my fingers together with the hot glue. My younger son missed the nostalgic charm completely as he cried through the entire "bonding" experience. My older son got twisted in the glue gun cord. The wreath project was exploding right before our very eyes. Shrapnel was everywhere.
