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The Effects of Divorce on Toddlers
Tips for Making the Transition Easier on Small Children
By Emily Mendell
"Any behavior that is occurring over an extended period of time that is interfering with a child's functioning should be flagged," Dr. Greenberg says. "Aggressive behavior where they are hurting themselves or someone else should also be concerning or at any point where the parents feel they themselves are having trouble coping."
Checking in with a family therapist or a pediatrician is always a safe bet. Ask if the behavior is normal and develop a plan for both parents to monitor and address it.
Effective co-parenting is so critical in minimizing the negative effects on children that Massachusetts and many other states mandate that divorcing parents of minor children take a seminar on how to successfully move through this change. Dr. Greenberg, who leads two such seminars each month, recommends divorcing parents take a seminar, even if it isn't mandated.
"Based on my experience, 25 percent of the parents who come to the seminar have healthy and constructive attitudes, 25 percent can't get past their anger to be effective and 50 percent face troubles initially but have the potential to figure it out over time," Dr. Greenberg says. "Parents' behavior has a dramatic effect on the children's reaction to the divorce. If parents are doing a poor job of co-parenting, divorce isn't easy for any child at any age."
Carla and her husband have already committed themselves to maintaining a healthy environment. "My best case scenario is we show our children that, regardless of our marital status, when it comes to them we are a unified front," Carla says. "We want a healthy and loving life for them. It's a priority."
* Last name withheld to protect privacy.
