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The Glass Is Half Empty
Does Being Around Negativity Affect a Toddler?
By Keath Castelloe Low
Toddlers are like sponges, soaking up the world around them. They are also wonderful imitators.
"My husband and I try to be upbeat, but I have noticed that when I am in a bad mood and being down, my kids quickly treat each other the same way," says RueAnn Beasley, a mother of four girls from Highland, Utah. "If I yell at my kids, they begin to yell at each other. If I 'poo-pah' an event, they quickly do the same."
Most of us have been through this familiar exchange with our children. Even young babies are aware of moods, tones and facial expressions. What happens if children are exposed to more serious kinds of negativity?
Lenore Ball from Chapel Hill, N.C., says that she also experienced worries about the effect of negative people around her daughter, Sarah. "Sadly, it was close relatives during hard times," Ball says.
Ball did not realize the impact of the relatives' attitude until Sarah began to respond negatively to things in general. "Her focus was always on the bad stuff, so we had a rule: before you could say something bad you had to say something good first," Ball says. "She still has a somewhat negative attitude, but I definitely think we nipped it in the bud!"
Sometimes the person exhibiting negative behaviors is an important person living right in the home. Karen* from Florida says that her alcoholic ex-husband was fairly abusive before they separated. "It definitely affected my daughter's attitude toward me," Karen says. "She would frequently address me with a tone of utter contempt that she picked up from him, and it made discipline a real issue." Fortunately, things improved once she and her daughter were out of the toxic environment.
