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Toddler Meltdowns in Public
Why Are Some Toddlers Angels at Home and Terrors While Out?
By Amy Henry
For a toddler, sitting for a half-hour feels like five hours would to an adult, Dr. Karp says. He advises parents to "feed the meter," his term for doling out bits of attention and time along the way. Depending on the child's age and temperament, this can mean taking a mini-break every 20 to 60 minutes, or whenever you notice the warning signs of a storm brewing.
Mini-breaks can be as simple as stopping the action for two minutes of lap time and a quick cuddle. It's another way to feed the meter and pre-empt an outburst.
Once kids are in tantrum mode, most don't want to be hugged. "They feel patronized then," Dr. Karp says.
"A quick switch can often save the day," Martin says, recalling when her son started to melt over a toy that belonged to another child. The antidote that turned tears to smiles? A few rounds of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." Other proven toddler pleasers include peek-a-boo, making silly faces at each other or sharing a picture book.
Parents can also take a cue from that legendary nanny, Mary Poppins. Remember Mary's magical bag, home to many fascinating objects? Try stocking a small, cloth bag with a juice pack or bottled water, crackers or a mini-box of raisins, picture books, small toys, paper and crayons. Whenever your toddler grows restless, hand her the bag and let her choose one item. The trick is to change the bag's contents frequently so that anticipation of a surprise is part of the fun.
When tantrums do occur, we need to remember that our child isn't trying to embarrass us or drive us nuts, Cohen says. "They melt down when they're flooded by emotions and they just can't pull it together or 'use their words,'" she says. "They need some loving attention to get back to themselves."
