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Managing Holiday Madness

Sanity Strategies for Parents

By Mark Stackpole

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Of course, this is not always possible, and some members of the family are bound to be disappointed if the holiday schedule does not include them. "It is hard, and you never want to tell your mother that she won't get to see her grandkids this holiday season ... because we all know that our parents don't really care about seeing us anymore, do they?" Holmes says.

However, as much as everyone wants to see a toddler, not everyone is prepared for the household havoc she can wreak. Holmes finds this to be the biggest concern of all. "It is very difficult to visit family members because their homes are usually nowhere close to child-proofed," she says. "Trying to entertain a toddler in a home that is full of breakables and 'stainables' is my nightmare. You just spend the entire time following them around, saying, 'No, no, no, no.' You get absolutely no time to visit with family."

While there isn't a lot that can be done to prevent toddler curiosity (and a seemingly supernatural ability to reach the items on the shelf that you thought were safe), Holmes and her husband, Donnie, do what most parents of toddlers do – they take turns supervising so that each of them can get some quality time with the other adults. For Holmes, having an older son also helps, as he can provide brief periods of baby-patrolling.

And Who Are You?
When relatives are not tring to safeguard their fragile valuables, they are often trying to hold, hug and kiss any toddlers that happen to be in the area. While young babies are often easily passed from one adult to another, toddlers can be a little bit more cautious and stubborn.

"Even if the people are technically 'family,' our daughter doesn't really know them, so it is awkward to deal with the rejection of open arms," Holmes says. "An aunt, uncle, cousin or grandmother comes up and immediately reaches out to hold her. She's reluctant, if not terrified, to be passed off to a stranger. What do you do? It's a delicate balance that I've not quite mastered."


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