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Valuable Lessons
Teaching Toddlers About Responsibility By Mark Stackpole
Now, Levy focuses on offering Seth choices and then teaching him the consequences of his decisions. For
example, Seth recently wanted to play before bedtime rather than have a snack. However, when it came time to make the ultimate decision, Seth chose the snack. "He chose to eat because he learned that the alternative was to go to bed hungry, which clearly made it more difficult for him to go to sleep," says Levy. "By him making the choice instead of me, he grew stronger about taking personal responsibility for his choices."
It is a learning experience for both father and son, as Levy is figuring out how to best teach these lessons, and Seth is trying to understand and apply them. "You can't bully or humiliate your kids into a sense of responsibility," he says. "Children must have ownership of the whole thing. I think the most challenging aspect of teaching about choice is not to slip into telling your kids what to do. I fall into this trap all the time, especially when I'm tired or rushed; it's a real battle for me. I think Seth is more than willing to learn, but at those times, I'm lacking the resolve to teach these messages."
Responsibility in all of its forms is difficult for children to learn and perhaps even more difficult for parents to teach. Despite the challenges in getting the messages across, there is little doubt that they are among the most important lessons that children ever learn.Those lessonsmay even influence the way they eventually raise their own children.
Roehlkepartain believes parents need to keep their eyes on the prize. "We want children to grow up to be productive citizens," she says. "When they learn how to be responsible little by little, they see that responsibility is a skill and value that brings meaning to their lives. We feel good when we help and do our part. We feel good when others value the contributions we make. Responsibility isn't a chore. It's something that helps everybody and makes the world a better place."


