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Use the words son and daughter. These two words can add intense intimacy to your verbal expressions of love. "I love you, son" or "I love you, daughter" will create an emotion-filled statement that will invite an equally emotional response. Monitor your personal comfort level as you use these two important words. Notice your feelings as you say them as well as the reaction you get from your children.
Add non-verbal signals to your spoken message. Smile, wink and add pleasant facial expressions to your words. Make sure the message on your face is congruent with the one coming out of your mouth.
Do not use the word when as part of your vocal communication of love. "I love you when you smile like that" or "When you choose that happy mood, I love you," sends a message to your children that your love is conditional. Children often hear "I only love you when..." To love unconditionally, say "I love you" without any condition attached.
Remove the word but from your description of love. "I love you, but..." Is usually followed by a concern, problem or frustration. When we express our love along with a concern we send a mixed message. When we do this children get confused and conclude that the love part is a manipulation intended to soften them up before the real message is delivered.
Add because you are loveable to your manner of expressing love.
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