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Home › Articles › Discipline › Revenge of the Toddler

Revenge of the Toddler

Empowering Your Spirited Child

By Laura Cone

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Food Fights
While fishing food out of your hair, you may wonder whether your toddler is seeking revenge. But experts such as Sheedy Kurcinka say food fights are often innocent. "For toddlers, everything in their brain says to them try it, find out how this works," she says. "They throw food on the floor not so much to get you but to just find out what happens. If you think about it, the dog comes running and gobbles up food. This is kind of exciting. The key is this is not a plot, a malicious thing to tick Mom off. It's just figuring out what are the rules around here."

She says the first time a child throws his food, he may just be pausing in his eating. But if you give him the food back, and he slings the food, encourage him to say, "All done." Then, use either formal sign language or your own made-up sign language to communicate fullness before removing the plate. "Using a sign really helps when they are not very verbal," says Sheedy Kurcinka.

Another reason your toddler may engage you in a food battle is because you are pushing him to eat more than he wants or needs, says Sheedy Kurcinka. She says a child's weight triples their first year. But between year 1 and 2, they only gain 6 pounds, which results in a drop in appetite. "If they were tripling their weight again we would have 60- to 70-pound toddlers," she says. "So with food, our job is to provide nutritious food. Their job is to decide what they are going to eat and how much. It's important to recognize for toddlers a mere tablespoon of chicken is considered a serving."

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