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Home › Articles › Development › Bashful Babes

Bashful Babes

Dealing with a Shy Toddler

By Alex Powell

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Karen Ray struggled with shyness as a child. That's why Ray, from Oklahoma, easily recognized signs of shyness as her own daughter prepared to start preschool. "[Before then,] being shy did not seem to affect her life," says Ray. "That was more than likely due to close family and friends being her world up until she was about 4 years old."

Ray worked hard to ease her daughter's transition into school, taking her in prior to enrolling to meet the teachers and become familiar with the environment. However, it still took several days of attendance before Ray's daughter would speak to the other children.

Occasional bouts of shy behavior are developmentally common in toddlers and preschoolers. Just ask any parent who's recently had to "rescue" their child from a party, playgroup or department store Santa Claus! But what if your child is really shy? Is there anything you can do to help?

Part of Them
The over-sensitivity to new people and situations that characterizes shyness may have biological roots. Recent research suggests shy people have increased activity in the amygdala, a part of the brain that controls primitive emotional responses such as anxiety or alarm. Research suggestsshyness may be genetic, and it is lifelong:If you were shy and inhibited as a 2-year-old, you're likely to show the same traits as an adult.

"About 20 percent of 4-month-olds are biologically predisposed toward shyness, meaning their nervous systems react more dramatically to the introduction of unexpected events or people," says Dr. Linda Acredolo, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and the co-author of Baby Hearts : A Guide to Giving Your Child an Emotional Head Start

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