Toilet Training

Is My Child Ready?

By Jessica Williams

If you are the parent of a toddler, you probably have toilet training on your mind. I'm betting that you have heard about 50 different things about training, and they're all different, right? Or maybe your grandmother, sister-in-law and the doctor's receptionist all say your toddler's too old to be in diapers and you are feeling the pressures of society. You are not alone! But let's get one thing straight right now: If you force your toddler to train before he is ready, you could end up with bigger problems than having to change a diaper a few times a day. I'll tell you why in a moment.

If you haven't heard an earful on making the switch from diapers to the potty, you've certainly seen the gadgets and programs - one product turns having a bowel movement into a game by encouraging tots to hit floating targets, and musical potty chairs help little ones conquer fears about falling in - and with all of the books, videos, sticker charts and games, you'd think toilet training could only be done with the help of Toys 'R' Us!

But beyond the gismos (some of which, from what I hear, work wonderfully) and the two-day methods, there lies a basic formula that must apply to your child before he or she can become totally free of diapers without a battle. Here it is:

That's all. Now, before you start raising a skeptical eyebrow, let me explain how it works (and give you some ammunition for the next encounter with grandma, who says little Joey should have been trained a year ago...).

Control is very important when it comes to toilet training. No, I am not talking about controlling your toddler, I'm talking about the control your toddler has over his bladder or bowel movements. To give you an idea of why it is hard for kids to learn control, let's review the basic elimination process. When you have to go the bathroom, either to urinate or to have a bowel movement, you feel an urge. Some people feel it for a long time before they have to go; some people only feel it for a few minutes. When you feel that urge, you know what it means. You understand what your body is telling you. So, you go to the bathroom. Because you've been doing it for so long, you may not always notice that you have to control your urge until you are able to get to the bathroom.