Toddler Terrors

By Pamela White

wn-up world of walking, using the potty and sleeping in a "big kid" bed.

Avoid fear-inducing daytime encounters, whenever possible. If a child demonstrates fear of dogs, keep even friendly dogs away from her. Fire engines are hard to avoid, but parents can hold toddlers when sirens go by, or acknowledge that the sound is loud and can be scary. Removing a child from the tub prior to pulling the plug, or showing him that his foot alone is bigger than the drain, may be enough reassurance to end his fear that he will go down the drain with the water.

Establish regular bed and naptimes. It's the night after a toddler stays up late that the bad dreams occur, says Dr. Mindell. She also recommends a peaceful bedtime routine. Ban the crazy tickle monster act right before bed; instead snuggle with a toddler under the blankets and read "Goodnight Moon" to create a comfortable, supportive atmosphere.

But what's the right way to offer comfort when the inevitable occurs? "We took my son Ned into our bed when he would have a bad dream," recalls Heidi, mother of two. "But it wasn't too long before he woke up each night wanting to sleep with us. When I would ask him, 'Are you sick? Do you hurt?' he would say no, but he would grin and nod when I would ask if he had a bad dream."

Although some pediatricians recommend comforting the child in his own room, Lisa disagrees. "My son is now 3, and he has never had a nightmare. I should know -- he has slept in our family bed since he was born." She believes this additional nighttime contact with mom and dad gives her son an elevated sense of security.

Don't minimize or ridicule a child's fears. Rock her, sing a lullaby and reassure her that everything is all right. Turn on the lights in her room if she needs to see all is safe, but remember a child this young cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy, so trying to rationalize with a toddler is not likely to help.

If all else fails, scary monsters may be banished by a "lovey" -- a cuddly stuffed companion. Many a tired parent has found that Cookie Monster himself can save the night

Want to see more?

• Nighttime Parenting : How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep - by William Sears
• Crying Baby, Sleepless Nights: Why Your Baby is Crying and What You Can Do About It