Mothering More Than One

Make Nursing Time Special for Everyone

By Lisa A. Goldstein

You've just settled down to breastfeed your baby when all of a sudden you hear, "Mommy! Mommy!" from your older child, who's tugging at your sleeve and wanting your attention. What's a nursing mother to do?

Susan Pollack of Rockville, Md., had 2-year-old Lily when her second daughter, Madelyn, was born. "I tried to take care of everything else that could happen in the next 30 minutes like potty training sitting time before I'd begin nursing," says Pollack. "I gave Lily responsibilities, too, like disposing of diapers, getting extra wipes, burp cloths and pillows. Most little kids like to help." This preparedness can include making sure the older child is set up with a snack or activity before the nursing session begins. Depending on your comfort level, another distraction is letting the older child watch a video or television show.

If you prefer to be more involved with your child, you can read him or her a book while nursing your baby, suggests Jan Aken, a registered nurse with more than 36 years of experience in obstetrics and 15 years as a board certified lactation consultant. She adds the following ideas to help you prepare for nursing sessions:

• Color with the older child or play a board game or a simple card game if you're able to nurse with one hand.
• Have a tea party during breastfeeding time.
• Give the older child a special snack that's given only at breastfeeding times.

Experiencing difficulty with the older sibling is only natural. "The older child may just want to see if her needs are met, so the sibling may test her mother and see if her mother will get her whatever she needs," Aken says.

This is what happened to Shane Grant of Buffalo, N.Y. "When Oliver was first born, Andrew turned into a little devil the minute I would sit down to nurse, throwing my makeup all over, anything to get my attention and stop nursing to chase him," she says. "What I had to do was nurse in an enclosed, safe area like our play room as opposed to my bedroom where Andrew's toys are." Andrew still tried to get his mother's attention sometimes, but because he was in his play area, there was nothing he could damage just toys. When Mom stopped reacting to his behavior, it stopped; Andrew was no longer getting a response from Mom.

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