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Holding On by a Safety Pin:When Mom is not Ready to Potty Train

By Carma Haley

Potty training is just as inevitable as a child learning to walk and talk. "The important thing is to let it happen in a natural way and it will," says Gross. "Holding them back can be as damaging as forcing them as it may lead to a child avoiding confrontational situations in the future just as they attempted to avoid confrontation with their mother over potty training. The child may sacrifice their life in order to keep the parent from feeling abandoned. A child will look up to the eyes of a parent to see their reaction in order to know how to proceed -- forward or back. If he sees or senses negativity, he will withdraw into what he feels is safe, based upon a parent's reaction."

Transitional processes can be hard -- emotionally, physically and mentally -- on all those involved. Potty training is a transition for a child but also for a parent. However, if done properly, potty training can open up a new experience in which the parent can take part and joy in. "The only reason any of us make changes is because there is something is store for us that's better that makes us want to give up something we already like," says Gross. "A child grows up to become a teen and then an adult and will have accomplishments and a life of his own. It can be distressing to parents to lose their baby. A child may not be a 'child' anymore, but a parent stays a parent -- always."