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Home › Articles › Discipline › Oh, Those Outbursts!

Oh, Those Outbursts!

Taming Tantrums Without Losing Your Sanity

By Gina Roberts-Grey, LCSW

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A 2 1/2-year-old is shattered by leaving the park before she's ready. It seems unreasonable to her that if she wants something she may not be able to immediately attain it. As they process their feelings, toddlers demonstrate their powerful emotions in a manner that comes very naturally to them. They will cry, shout and use their body language to convey precisely how they feel.

Showing Off for Friends
Rich Mardock, M.S.W., of Skaneateles, N.Y., comforts parents by reminding them that many kids have emotional outbursts in social settings. This occurs because at this age, it is difficult for them to maintain control over their feelings for extended periods of time. Children have frequent meltdowns when playing with other children for a few reasons. "They either become extremely frustrated with a situation, they want to completely control the situation or they are trying to demonstrate their superiority to their peers," says Mardock.

After kids have been playing together for a while, they become comfortable with each other. They are more likely to take a toy away, refuse to share or dislike the actions of their playmate. Their playmate's reaction to a toy being taken away or refusal to share then sparks a frustration tantrum.

Mardock teaches parents that there are some instant measures to regain control of your upset child that are easy to implement. "Removing him from the direct situation creates a diversion and gives the tantrum time to subside," says Mardock. "He will have a few minutes to regain his composure and you can discuss what caused the behavior." Additionally, when he is in public or with friends and launches into a tirade, temporarily excuse yourselves from the environment. Step outside with your child if you're playing at a friend's house. If you're at home, take your child to a quiet part of the house to collect himself.

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