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When Punches Fly
How to Handle Toddler Hitting
By Heather V. Long
The best way to deal with a toddler hitting another toddler is not to reward it with lots of attention. Simply tell the child no, remove him from the child he's hitting and put him in a time out. Don't make a huge production out of the problem. Conversely, reward the good behaviors.
"You need to get down on their level, eye to eye, and use a very low voice and hold an arm to keep them still as you speak to them," says Dr. Alice Honig, professor emerita of child development in Syracuse, N.Y. "This is 'victim-centered discipline.' You have to tell them, 'That could hurt,' or 'It did hurt. I don't want you to hurt anyone or anyone to hurt you.' Never yell; just keep the tone serious."
Gregory agrees that, in general, the best way to handle it is relatively simple. It involves catching children "in the act," taking their hand and saying calmly, but firmly, "No hitting. Hitting hurts." If the action is repeated, repeat the directive that there is no hitting, and you can even indicate that you understand and empathize with the toddler's frustration. They may not understand all the words you're s
