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Why Do Toddlers Bites?

When Children Terrorize
With Their Teeth

By Laura Paul

Pages:  1  2  3  

Since toddlers don't always have self-control and the ability to verbalize their thoughts, it's up to the parents to guide them. Anger and other emotional responses from an adult will not get the message across to the toddler.

When your child bites another child, respond in a calm manner. "Go immediately to the child who has been bitten and say, 'Oh, that hurts,' and comfort the child," Deerwester says. "Get ready with your ice, an anti-bacterial wipe and clean up the child and give a lot of attention to that child first. Then go to the other child, who has done the biting, and point to the child who is crying or injured and say, 'Look, he is sad. He is crying because you hurt him.'" Parents can also say to their biter in a serious tone, "I don't want you to bite."

Don't Bite Back
Some parents wonder whether they should bite back to discourage their toddler from biting. Deerwester discourages such a tactic. "The shock value of biting them back is like the shock value of spanking," she says. "Is it worth it? They have to learn all of the other things we are trying to teach them anyway, so why not invest ourselves in really teaching them what they need to know?"

Steve Yarris, a child psychologist in Brooklyn, N.Y., says toddlers are dealing with a bundle of impulses. Parents need to be especially patient during the trying toddler years as children are naturally curious and exploring their world. Parents do not want their children to internalize fears, guilt and resentment. "We are laying down the code for their future identity," Yarris says. "It may seem like an easy answer to be strict, but that's what the child internalizes and then they are afraid to enjoy their lives and live life fully."

Yarris advises parents to give their toddlers outlets for their aggression. "Before they are verbal it's a little harder," he says. "With one kid I worked with last week, I got the parents to buy a punching pillow. You have to give them a choice, an outlet."

Don't over-explain the matter to a toddler who is not yet verbal. "When they are verbal you can say, 'I understand you are angry. It's OK to say you are angry but I'm not going to let you do this,'" Yarris says. "These are often called the terrible twos, and that's because children are sort of learning there are rules they have to go by. Up until then they can do whatever they want. Kids think the world is their oyster."

Biting Victims
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