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Discipline As Easy as One, Two, Three

The 3 Keys to Effectively Disciplining Your Child

By Lisamarie Sanders

Pages:  1  2  3  

As you gaze into the eyes of your newborn baby, it's hard to imagine that this little blessing will ever do anything wrong. But keep in mind that someday she'll be 2, then 3, then 13 years old. It's important that you learn now how to discipline later.

Luckily, discipline is as easy as one, two, three. That's right. There are only three things you need to remember (and do) to discipline effectively.

1. Be Firm.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be strong in stating your expectations without belittling or judging your child. Being firm establishes parameters and helps children understand their limits. It guides them in the right direction and encourages them to behave appropriately.

"There is a difference between being firm and being mean," says Ann Douglas, author of 16 parenting books including The Mother of All Baby Books: The Ultimate Guide to Your Baby's First Year (Wiley, 2002). Firmness does not involve constant yelling. In fact, the most successful disciplinarians never raise their voices. Being firm also does not require anger. On the contrary, it works best when emotion is removed. By stating in a firm, calm voice, "We don't hit," the child learns what is expected. If the behavior continues, consequences are enforced. The rules are clear. The child makes the choice.

Many parents undermine their authority by failing to be firm. Whether it's through idle threats or tacking on words such as "OK" to the end of a command, children see their parents as weak and able to be manipulated. It is important for parents to be in charge, says Douglas, "not a tyrant, but in control."

2. Be Fair.
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