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Family Introductions
Getting Siblings Ready for a New Baby
By Katherine Bontrager
In a world full of apparent drawbacks, little ones may wonder: What's the use of a new baby? That's where the benefits of being the older child come into play. Since the child is now the "big" brother or sister, DeBroff suggests giving the child new privilege, such as a later bedtime or extended playtime hours.
Braun agrees, saying the child can be included in a number of tasks. Ask the child: Can you pick out a shirt for the baby to wear? Will you hand me a diaper? Can you help me wash the baby?
"If the child and the baby don't share a room, tell your older child that his or her room will be off limits to the baby, and ask him or her to keep toys with small parts there," DeBroff advises. "Offer to get a gate to keep Baby out. This way your child doesn't have to keep the door closed all the time and feel isolated in the process."
In addition, always let the child know what the plan is, says Braun. "Try saying: 'Here's the plan. I'm going to feed and change the baby, and then you and I are going to play with your Legos [or other toy]. Do you want to go get them ready for us?' Doing so helps the child to feel a little more in control," she says.
"Whatever you do, don't blame the baby for big changes that disrupt your older child's life," DeBroff says. "If you can't go outside because of the baby's naptime, or if your child has to stay quiet because the baby is sleeping, don't always point out that it's the baby's fault. By doing so, you risk giving your child reasons to resent the newborn."
Instead, both Braun and DeBroff say it's important for the child to overhear parents praising what a great older sibling he or she is. This sense of pride will grow, and the child will continue to try to be the best big brother or sister possible.
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