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Home › Articles › Family › Family Introductions

Family Introductions

Getting Siblings Ready for a New Baby

By Katherine Bontrager

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There's nothing like the excitement of bringing a new baby home – unless of course you're greeted at the door by one very unamused 2-year-old screaming to take that "thing" back from whence it came.

A new baby changes the family lifestyle, which can be daunting for young children. To ease this transition, you need to prepare everyone – including big brothers and sisters – for the change that's about to take place.

Preparing for the Big Event
Depending on the age of your child, Betsy Brown Braun advises parents not to break the news of the pregnancy a full nine months out. "Nine months is a very long time to a young child – way too far away for a child to anticipate," says the child development specialist, founder of Parenting Pathways Inc. and mother of triplets. "When Mom begins obviously to show or when the child notices, then it's time to break the news."

Stacy DeBroff, author of The Mom Book (Free Press, 2002) and founder of Mom Central, agrees. "Give the child a time frame he or she can understand for when the baby will arrive, such as right after your birthday, around Christmas time or just before nursery school ends for the summer," she says.

Explaining the process may prove a little trickier. Braun says that for the very young, you may try to describe the event this way: "Mommy is growing a baby in a special place in my body called the uterus. The uterus is right next to my tummy, so it looks like it is in my tummy. But only food goes in a tummy! The baby will grow in my uterus for nine months, until it is ready to be born. Then you will have a baby brother or sister."

According to Braun, when it comes to explaining your pregnancy to your toddler, less is more. "Wait for the child's questions in order to determine how much he or she understands," she says.

DeBroff advises outlining expectations of what will come with a new baby. "Explain that for the first few months, the baby will do little more than eat, sleep and cry," she says. "Take the child on a brief tour of the hospital where you'll deliver. Explain all the details of who will look after him or her and where he or she will stay while you're in the hospital."

While all children will have a hard time with this major life change, Braun notes that it could be more difficult for those who have not yet learned how to speak. "The child has no idea what's coming," she says. "Remember, he or she has been the center of the universe for the first two years [without the new baby]."

To ease any fears, DeBroff recommends telling the child the story of his or her birth and reading books or watching videos about becoming a big sister or brother. You can even get personalized books complete with your child's and baby's name from vendors such as ChangeIsStrange.com. The colorful book We're Having A Baby: A Welcome Baby Kit for the Whole Family

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